Work-life balance is a present-day workplace buzzword. A healthy one is something employees seek, and organizations increasingly advertise.
Surprisingly, the topic of work-life balance, in the sense of time spent working versus time not working, never excited me because, although it might have been helpful, achieving a healthy balance wasn’t the “fix” I was looking for—it wasn’t enough.
Work-life balance, alone, is not the answer
Better work-life balance, by itself, might be the answer for someone who is truly passionate and loves what they do, in that simply spending more time doing things other than work would get them to where they, and the people around them, want them to be.
For everyone else (including me in my prior career), a healthy work-life balance, alone, is not the answer because a poor work-life balance is a symptom of a larger, underlying issue. It’s a red flag—an indication that something bigger is going on. The solution is not to solve the work-life balance issue, it’s to identify and understand the underlying issue(s) and solve that.
If you had a sinus infection that gave you sinus congestion, a headache, and chills, you wouldn’t be satisfied by putting on a warm sweater to address the chills—you’d want antibiotics that could address the underlying bacterial infection that’s causing all of the unwanted symptoms.
Other symptoms you might experience in addition to a poor work-life balance:
feeling a constant weight on your shoulders
feeling overwhelmed
an underlying feeling of stress and anxiety when you’re working
trouble being present on weeknights when not working because you’re worrying or thinking about work
imposture syndrome--feeling you can’t just be yourself, you’re not worthy of your role
feeling like you’re “working for retirement”
heavy judgment of self and/or others
a lack of boundaries
a lack of confidence
a tendency to be self-deprecating
knowing you’re capable of more than you’re actually achieving
Superficial “solutions” and what they lead to
Commonly, steps are taken to superficially address the issue of poor-work life balance, but because it’s merely a symptom of an underlying issue, it’s normally only marginally beneficial and results in temporary, not lasting change.
Those steps are usually exhausting, as well, because the underlying issue is still at work, making everything more difficult. They often feel like more items on your already too long “to-do” list, and you’re already exhausted.
You might be very motivated and stay on course for a few weeks, or even a month, but things come up, life happens, you fall off the wagon, and you’re back to square one.
Even if you were somehow successful with those steps, it would only address one symptom—the poor work-life balance. The others would still be unaddressed because you never got to the root of the issue, which means you would still be limited and unsatisfied.
My experience
That was my experience. I changed jobs to one that had a much better work-life balance, but because I hadn’t addressed what was really holding me back— the fear of failure—of not performing well, or not meeting someone’s expectations because if I were to “fail,” to me, it meant I “wasn’t good enough, or wasn’t smart enough,” I still felt such a baseline feeling of anxiety and stress when I worked. I still felt that constant weight on my shoulders. I still had a hard time not thinking about or worrying about work on weeknights when I wasn’t working, especially if I saw a work-related email come through on my phone. I still struggled with boundaries.
What is the root issue?
There are always external factors that come into play, like required travel, hour requirements, etc., but the real underlying issues are most often ones that are inside of us, and ones based on fear. Peel back another layer and that fear is likely rooted in something that ultimately makes you feel like you’re not good enough, in one way or another.
The (very) good news
Poor work-life balance only being a symptom isn’t a bad thing, though; it’s actually an exciting thing! It means that there is an opportunity to get much more than just a healthy work-life balance once you address the underlying issue because the poor work-life balance is just one of what are likely many symptoms.
And when the underlying issue is addressed, those other symptoms you’re experiencing will be treated, as well. And that is the “fix” you’re likely seeking.
How do you identify and address the root issue?
That’s why getting to the root of the issue is so important; it’s the path to real, lasting change. Maybe you’re already aware of what the root issue is, or maybe you’re not, yet. Either way, in order to address it, you need to be in an environment with a partner whom you feel comfortable speaking completely openly and honestly with, without any fear of judgment. An environment where, if you don’t know what the root is yet, you’ll be asked the right questions to peel the layers back until you get there.
That’s the beauty of the coaching relationship—it provides the environment and relationship where that’s possible. Something that, generally speaking, inherently cannot be achieved working with a mentor within your organization.
Once the root issue is determined, you have someone to work with, your coach, to address how to overcome it.
When the underlying issue is addressed, this “fix” might result in:
feeling “lighter” at work
greater confidence
more authenticity—bringing more of yourself to your job
less judgment
greater ability to be present and “enjoy the moment”
greater sense of fulfillment
the ability to take on and manage more responsibilities
greater success, in general, because you’re no longer held back by the large, underlying issue
Saving the best for last
But here’s the best part: what you may have initially thought was just a work-life balance issue is so much more and impacts many other facets of your life. Addressing the root issue results in so much positive change beyond just a better work-life balance. These changes will impact your work tremendously. What often comes as a surprise, though, is that the changes will have an equal or greater impact on your life outside of work, as well, because what holds you back at work almost always also holds you back in your personal life.
Here's the takeaway: if you’re experiencing poor work-life balance, it’s an indication that there’s a tremendous opportunity to improve both your professional and personal life. And coaching is the vehicle that can get you there.
Visit www.jordantepfer.com to learn more or book a free Discovery Call with me here.
Subscribe below if you'd like to receive my posts via email.
Comments